There I was, in my fitness attire, not understanding what was happening to me. I don’t even recall what the specific question was. But I do remember that I was completely taken aback by the involuntary reaction which ensued, namely an overwhelming feeling of desperation, dejection, despair,… And tears, so many tears.
The fellow sportsperson who witnessed this strange occurrence took me to one side and managed to calm me down. She also gave me the sage advice to go home.
Always at the ready
I was at home for nine months. The question that was asked was the proverbial straw. Seemingly, there already was so much going on in my ‘system’ that my mind was not even aware of.
By standing still, slowing down and taking time to relax, I slowly came to the realisation that I was actually living in a constant heightened state of alert. All kinds of experiences and circumstances had ensured that my nervous system detected threats everywhere. Resulting in a continual vigilance as if danger were lurking around the corner and as if it weren’t safe to drop my guard and to relax.
By really taking a good look at myself with curiosity and by scrutinising my stories, patterns and strategies, I slowly got to know my Frik Unik. I discovered the subconscious part within me that had the idea that a permanent storm was raging. The part that always seems to be fighting strong winds, torrential rain, sky-high waves,…
In that period, the realisation also grew that this was not my natural state of being and that each of us has the ability to experience the peace and relaxation of the deep ocean beneath choppy waters.
Storm in a teacup
However, when your system is always ‘on’ and is never able to find peace, descending to the depths of that ocean of relaxation becomes very difficult. You no longer automatically return to your natural resting state. The slightest setback, a trivial incident or a banal question may all feel like a storm. A storm in a teacup, admittedly, but a storm nonetheless.
Finding my Frik Unik helped me to weather those storms and to avoid going under each time. For me, mindset work and breathwork were the tools of choice to put that Frik Unik at ease and to switch it ‘off’. And as a result, re-experience inner peace.
In the meantime, I’m increasingly recognising the ‘straws’ which cause the biggest waves for me. And even though I don’t always manage to reach the depths of the ocean when these waves arrive, I’m getting better at catching and riding them.
You can't stop the waves,
but you can learn to surf